Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
