I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize