Your tits are I can't wait for
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
