What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
