i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
