Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

This dress was meant to end up on your floor

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(818): View more from California

The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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(661): View more from California

Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

(1-661): View more from California

What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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(815): View more from Illinois

We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

it's a Wednesday?

(419): View more from Ohio

:)

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(469): View more from Texas

I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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(281): View more from Texas

Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?

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