what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
