i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
