woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
