The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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