you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
