Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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