Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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