why didn't you poke me back
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
