Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Come on in and take your pants off
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