even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
