I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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