i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
