lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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