I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
