the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
