So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't deserve a penis
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
