Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
