Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
