At least make sure they are 18
Why
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
