i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
