Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
