therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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