Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i dont even know how to be here
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
