living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
