talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
