Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize