So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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