Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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