Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
