He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
