After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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