he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize