My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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