You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
