I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
