Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
