Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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