the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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