I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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