So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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