I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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