Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize