you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize