On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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