Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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