Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize