A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
