He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
