Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
