Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
