Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You made out with two different species that night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
