so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
