So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
