how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
These tits shall not be calmed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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