Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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