Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
