ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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