does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize