I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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