it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
