Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
